Why and how to avoid authoritative parenting

May 29, 2024
May 29, 2024 Honolulu Tutoring

 Why and how to avoid authoritative parenting

Have you ever been confused between being a friend and disciplinarian for your child? Isn’t it a tough choice? If you find yourself leaning toward an authoritative parenting style, it may be time to pause and reconsider. Authoritative parenting may seem impressive, but it frequently causes more harm than good. In reality, it’s similar to attempting to grow a fragile plant in direct sunlight. It may seem like an excellent idea at first, but too much of it can negatively affect your child’s confidence and independence. In this blog post, we’ll discuss why and how to avoid authoritative parenting.

1. Understanding authoritative parenting

Authoritative parenting is similar to being a ship captain, except instead of leading the crew with a firm yet sympathetic hand, it focuses on yelling commands and expects unquestioning loyalty. It’s a style defined by high expectations and low reactions. Imagine an angry instructor who never smiles or gives encouragement. A little intimidating, isn’t it?

2. Downside of authoritative parenting

Now, let’s discuss why authoritative parenting isn’t the ideal way. When you continuously lay down the rules without regard for your child’s feelings or points of view, it might develop anger and disobedience. It’s like attempting to squeeze a square peg into a round hole—it simply won’t work. Plus, children raised in this method frequently suffer with decision-making and self-esteem difficulties since they are never given the opportunity to think for themselves or learn from their mistakes.

3. How to avoid the authoritative trap

So, how can you avoid slipping into an authoritative trap? It’s all about striking the correct balance between establishing boundaries and encouraging independence. Consider yourself a guide, not a dictator. Someone who provides support and guidance while letting your child to stretch their wings and experience the world. Encourage open communication, listen to your child’s opinions and feelings, and be prepared to negotiate and compromise as needed.

4. Implementing positive parenting practices

Instead of relying primarily on punishment and control, why not use positive parenting practices? This includes praising your child’s efforts, appreciating their accomplishments (however small), and establishing a solid foundation of trust and mutual respect. It’s like planting a seed of confidence and self-worth in your child’s head and watching them grow and thrive into confident, capable adults.


Authoritative parenting may appear to be a simple solution, yet it is filled with traps and dead ends. As parents, it is up to us to interrupt the cycle and adopt a more caring and empowering attitude. Understanding the disadvantages of authoritative parenting and using positive, supporting techniques may help us raise children who are not only well-behaved, but also confident, independent, and ready to face the world. So, let’s throw out the rules and create our own story, one full of love, understanding, and limitless possibilities.

Authoritative parenting, why it should be avoided and how to avoid it

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